Come Again

I asked Jeremy once why he was so good to me, because he has asked the same question of me. I have not been able to answer that question to my satisfaction, so I really should not demand the same of him, especially when it gets so close to that infamous, tricky, "Why do you love me?" patch of thorns that girls present to their men so often. I could not resist the temptation once and asked anyway.

He said, "Because you're you," which I think is a logically unsound statement. Of course I am myself.... A is A, and therefore cannot be Not A. If his answer were "Because you're me," then I would be concerned.

The Men in the White Coats Have Come to Take Me Away

Epee is beautiful.

Jeremy is beautiful when he fences epee.

Good fencers, when they fence, have conversations with each other through their actions. Jeremy is quiet. He is low on bravado and spare in his movements. When he moves he does it with a great degree of precision, which in its own way can be described as beauty.

All my friends are having messy breakups.

Shit + fan.

I wonder how long I will last.

I made a giant cardboard anime sweatdrop, which can be held up on a stick.

This is step one in my plan of reducing all my emotions to cardboard props, like question marks and @__@ eyes, soon to eliminate the need for me to have any facial expression whatsoever.

Also joined UMBC's Writers' Guild.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo! Trying to write a 175 page novel in the month of November!

Being that I essentially live at Erickson with Jeremy in the lap of luxury (well... the armpit of luxury, this being a boys' suite), when I came back to Chesapeake I looked around at my room and was like "What kind of shithole do I live in?"

I cleaned up a bit, so now it looks better.

You Know You're An Ancient Studies Dork When

You're playing Scattergories... the letter is H, the subject is 'People in Uniform'... and three people in your game simultaneously come up with: Hoplites.

Went to Rennfest yesterday, and had shitloads of fun though I was less impressed this year. I think last year, when I went for the first time, I had this "Ooh, look at all these people putting so much time into so much stuff" feeling that wore off this year, but it was still pretty cool. Basically spent the time watching really campy stage fighting (fencing has really ruined that kind of stuff for me though since I get to see real bouts twice a week) and dragging Jeremy around, trying on ridiculous clothing.

He got four hours of watching me struggle to breathe and having my ribs crushed by metal girders in different corsets/bodices (fun) and I got to drag a jerkin over his head and also doll him up in various big floppy (pink, feathered) cavalier hats. Plus, he got to play with swords and bought a pair of psi's.

Some strange episode to tell about: for some reason, we both knelt when they announced, "God save the Queen!" as "Anne Boleyn" passed, after watching the entire entourage as one get on their knees. I wasn't in garb and I wasn't being paid so I don't see why I, for no reason at all, got on my knees for someone who is, if you think about it, most likely a middle-aged English teacher living with her husband, two kids and a dog in suburban Maryland. Afterwards I was a bit bewildered and asked Jeremy, "Why did we just bow?" and he said, "Because she's the queen" and I said, "The queen of the Renaissance Festival!!" and felt a bit stupid. Jeremy said that is what you're supposed to do, but I felt a bit weird about bowing to a theme park princess. I suppose people will go to any lengths to find leader figures to bow to just because they appeal to something romantic and reassuring. People want to be led, and though roleplaying is just for entertainment of course and requires some degree of suspension of disbelief, it did make me wonder about how easily my knees were willing to give.