Wow. I really f----ed up my template. Joy.

More Musketeerisms.

Take a sip every time..

Milady de Winter looks real skanky. Actually, scratch that; she always looks skanky. Take a sip every time she has way too much eyeliner on.
The movie takes on Communist/AynRandWouldHateThis connotations. ("Let's redistribute this wealth!", "Please have mercy! I was only stealing to feed my starving children!")
Louis the XIII exudes Teenage Angst/ looks Moony-Eyed at Anne of Austria. Drink the cup if she looks Moony-Eyed back.
D'artagnan does/says something really really stupid. ("I wanna be a musketeer!")
A musketeer conveniently has some crazy weaponry on hand. (Swiss army knife, bola, crossbow, pistol, etc.)
Bad Guys get hurt when things fall on them. (Take two sips if that falling object is a musketeer and the victim is one of the Cardinal's guards on horseback. Down the whole cup if the falling object is a chandelier.)
The moviemakers bludgeon the Dante's Inferno Metaphor to death in Richelieu's Flaming Underground Dungeon (tm). (Why is there a flaming lake??? Why is there a black-robed ferryman in that flaming lake??? What possible practical use could that have?)
Richelieu wears armor.
Someone performs a move that would make a modern fencer explode. (Ie, circular motion of the wrist and enemy is disarmed, hacking indiscriminately at people tree cutting style, doing random somersaults, punching people in the middle of a sword fight etc.)
Someone reloads a pistol in 3 seconds flat.
Property damage ensues.
A Bad Guy is actually a Good Guy in disguise.
Someone sheathes his needle thin blade in a needle thin scabbard without even looking, and manages not to stab himself.
A Bad Guy tries to stab a Good Guy with a dagger, but the Good Guy catches the Bad Guy's wrist. They start what looks a lot like arm wrestling.
Bad Guys cannot swim. Which is historically accurate, but still amusing. Dammit. Richelieu doesn't even bubble!

Yet another unofficial movie weeked. I saw Shrek, which was good, and "Three Musketeers", which was bad. I usually like bad movies, but not this one. It was funny because it was so bad though. Here, for your entertainment, is the "Three Musketeers" drinking game!

One sip every time...

D'artagnan is pronounced with a bad American accent.
Cleavage is shown.
Someone is stabbed tastefully off camera.
Richelieu is obviously horny/ uses bad pickup lines on much younger women. ( in a creepy voice, "It's too bad that I am a man of God, but I am a man nonetheless"...). Yes. It really is as disturbing as it sounds.
Richelieu pauses in his sentences to use understatements. (ie, "The loss of your other eye could be... inconvenient", "I'm sure your birthday celebration will be... memorable")
Rochefort snarls gutterally.
These movie makers could be sued for animal cruelty (flogging the horses like crazy, shooting at them with cannon balls, etc)
Bad Guys who have guns (which appear arbitrarily when the plot calls for them) have hella bad aim. (ie, the musketeers are on horseback galloping through a field IN A STRAIGHT LINE, and the castle nearby with cannons can't even hit them! What the @#$)

I'll add more later when I can think of them.

For your entertainment! Crouching Tiger, Hidden Communist Pig-Dogs!!

It would be funny if, in the basement of our school, we had an Underground Cafeteria or something. That served real food in secret to the poor, and you needed a password and everything. And the cafeteria ladies would wear aviator goggles and trenchcoats and randomly yell, "VIVE LE RESISTANCE!"

I'm in school, blogging. I feel like such a rebel. Last night's two Atlas Shrugged blogs didn't come out on the blog page yet, but they're visible on my editting page. So I'll see if they show up later. The Phantom Menace Soundtrack is quite rocking. But now I'll forever affiliate the Star Wars theme song with Halley's Fifth Concerto.

Enlightenment RP's annoy me. Stress. It's funny that I play Role Playing Games all the time, but Role Playing, God forbid. I sort of like acting but I have chronic fears that I can't act. I had a dream that I was playing a part in Hamlet but I was really bad and Nick B was like, "You're the worst actress I've ever seen". And I was like.. noooo. And I forgot all my lines on the night of the performance so I had to use the script, only the script kept morphing in my hands, to Romeo and Juliet, and then to Macbeth if I flipped the book upside down.

HAHAHAHA!!! I FINISHED READING ATLAS SHRUGGED! I AM THE GREATEST! I AM THE GREATEST! WOOOOOO! ALL 1074 PAGES OF IT EXCEPT FOR THAT STUPID SPEECH!!!! WOOO! AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE BACK COVER IS HANGING ON TO THE REST OF THE BOOK BY A FEW DUCT TAPE FIBERS!!!

(poor Eddie Willers)

Alex's Party was cool. Puffy can dance. I'm not sure if he can dance *well*, but he can dance. I'm sorry, Malex, for making the windows in your basement fog up. And we'll replace your cushions. Eventually. The day the music died.

Unofficial Movie Weekend continues! Saw Knight's Tale. His Noble Lady was most irritating. It was funny though. Except it actually took some effort to understand the British-ish accents. And seeing Geoffrey Chaucer naked shall traumatize me forever. MORE JOUSTING ACTION! HAHA! Villains rock.

My parents can make such odd comments about the Phantom Menace. Here goes.

"If Queen Amidala is a queen, then where's her husband?"/ "This looks so much like New York. How do they land the ship with the buildings so close together?" (about Coruscant)/ "Why do they have to land at Tatooine?"/ "Why do people live on Tatooine anyways?"/ "What do you mean the Gungans are speaking English?"/ "Oh, so those are robots?" (about the droid army)/ "Why is Qui-Gon in two pieces?" (about Darth Maul)/ "Is he the king of this planet?" (about Jabba the Hutt)/ "You mean this galaxy has two governments?" (about why the Republican guard and the Naboo Royal Guard are different)/ "They sound Japanese." (On reports of accusations of racism because the Nimoidians have Asian accents)/ "This reminds me of 'Journey to the West.' Why does it take American filmmakers 20 years to do what Chinese filmmakers have been doing for a long time?" (about flying people)/ "Why is there a palace? That doesn't fit a high-tech film."/ "It's the Sea Dragon King and his Shrimp Troops" (about Boss Nass and his hanger-ons, a reference to the undersea kingdom in the Chinese epic, 'Journey to the West', but sounds odd in English)/ "Who's that burning?" (about Qui-Gon's funeral altar)/ "Why did the robots all stop moving?"

Yeaaah. My parents are pretty clueless when it comes to sci-fi.

Hmm. Idle thoughts. I have her boss' e-mail.

My mom can be insufferably stupid. She doesn't believe me when I say that trains were invented before cars. This would be.. tolerable.. if she weren't a civil engineer.

My parents have been screwing around with our new DVD player. So it's been the unofficial movie weekend for us. Saw the Fandom Menace again and enjoyed it as much as I did the first time. I was awed and boggled like a liddle kiddy. I noticed/felt different things from when I saw it the first two times, which makes me think that movie reviews are totally arbitrary, depending on your mood when you see the movie. Critics and their pretentious crap piss me off. So it was pretty good for what it was worth, though I woulda changed some things. Like push Jake Lloyd and his stupid midochlorians off a cliff. Anyways. Here are some things you probably didn't notice/know..

The pattern on the ceiling of Anakin's room is the same pattern on Darth Maul's face-
One of the guys sitting in the crowd at the pod racing scene is Warwick Davis, who place Warwick the Ewok in Return of the Jedi.
The pod racing crowd scene was created by blowing multi-colored q-tips with a blow dryer.

And some other stuff you don't care about. Anyhoo.