Thursday, July 04, 2002
July 1; the fifth anniversary of Hong Kong's transfer back to China. Got to watch fireworks from Fish's balcony over Victoria Harbour at night, and a loony human rights protestor on a bridge surrounded by cops on my way to get some lunch (not that all human rights protestors are loony; this one was.) I filmed the fireworks. But I saw the footage again and it's extremely jerky. I wonder how the fireworks on the Mall were (I suppose now it's the morning of July 5th in the US.)
Am in Hong Kong. Actually, I've been here for a week or so (starting on the 24th of June) but was too lazy to blog.
It is all normal. It looks very good at night, sparkly like it's Christmas or something (Christmas in Hong Kong is demented by the way... too many lights...), but in the daytime, it's dirty. Japan creeps me out because it's an Asian country and clean. Has been 33 degrees C out, and I wish we'd turn on the air con. The fan is trying very hard, to its credit. This is part of the reason why I escape to my cousin Fish's apartment (flat, my bad) ... because my grandma is worse than Nick B's dad. I don't think she's let a meal pass without commenting on my fatness (when people comment that I've lost weight she immediately goes, "No she hasn't!") And she serves fish at every meal and gets hella angry if I don't eat it (despite eating other things). Evil..I hate having a mouthful of bones- it's like eating a skeleton, especially since choking on a bone when I was little and having to be taken to a hospital.
And semi-escaping from my other cousin's flat because a) he's starting to inherit his dad's temper (this being the type of model family where the father is the disciplinarian and the mother is the nurterer- so that the daughter is extremely compliant and my other cousin is starting to yell at his mom..) Also, he's been running around shouting, having spiked his hair like David Beckham and is wearing a "Brasil" soccer (read, real football) jersey. Also, I have to go to church with them, which althought it hasn't been as offensive as it was last year (we got to watch videos on "converting the natives of Africa") but it's still awkward because I don't know anyone and people think I'm weird because I eat pizza with my hands.
Anyhow. Fish has been teaching me how to play Counterstrike. Yay, FPS. And "Typing of the Dead." Type or die!
It is all normal. It looks very good at night, sparkly like it's Christmas or something (Christmas in Hong Kong is demented by the way... too many lights...), but in the daytime, it's dirty. Japan creeps me out because it's an Asian country and clean. Has been 33 degrees C out, and I wish we'd turn on the air con. The fan is trying very hard, to its credit. This is part of the reason why I escape to my cousin Fish's apartment (flat, my bad) ... because my grandma is worse than Nick B's dad. I don't think she's let a meal pass without commenting on my fatness (when people comment that I've lost weight she immediately goes, "No she hasn't!") And she serves fish at every meal and gets hella angry if I don't eat it (despite eating other things). Evil..I hate having a mouthful of bones- it's like eating a skeleton, especially since choking on a bone when I was little and having to be taken to a hospital.
And semi-escaping from my other cousin's flat because a) he's starting to inherit his dad's temper (this being the type of model family where the father is the disciplinarian and the mother is the nurterer- so that the daughter is extremely compliant and my other cousin is starting to yell at his mom..) Also, he's been running around shouting, having spiked his hair like David Beckham and is wearing a "Brasil" soccer (read, real football) jersey. Also, I have to go to church with them, which althought it hasn't been as offensive as it was last year (we got to watch videos on "converting the natives of Africa") but it's still awkward because I don't know anyone and people think I'm weird because I eat pizza with my hands.
Anyhow. Fish has been teaching me how to play Counterstrike. Yay, FPS. And "Typing of the Dead." Type or die!
Friday, June 21, 2002
Saw a Voyager rerun last night. The episode that's basically- Harry Kim and the Planet of Women. Lots of unnecessary footage of Harry and some alien Anakin lookalike making out with hot sci fi Greek women. @__@ Were some of these writers up too late???
Note: Some of these Star Trek women were actually pretty hot. Except for Harry's girlfriend/attempted murderer, who looked and acted too much like Ms. Seabreeze.
Note: Whenever ANYONE goes to an island of beautiful women or something similar, the men always end up getting sacrificed or whatnot for malicious purposes and Our Hero always has to find their dessicated, mutiliated corpses. Goddammit.
Note: Some of these Star Trek women were actually pretty hot. Except for Harry's girlfriend/attempted murderer, who looked and acted too much like Ms. Seabreeze.
Note: Whenever ANYONE goes to an island of beautiful women or something similar, the men always end up getting sacrificed or whatnot for malicious purposes and Our Hero always has to find their dessicated, mutiliated corpses. Goddammit.
Been reading Shadow of the Hegemon. And watching the Powerpuff Girls, who have a movie coming out on July 3. Which makes me think.. it would be freaky if the Ender's Game movie came out, animated, and in the same style as Powerpuff Girls.. I can see it now. *high squeaky voices* "I'm Ender!" "I'm Bean!" "I'm Petra!" Lots of sexual tension between Achilles and Petra in Shadow. Lots of Petra, which makes up for her noninvolvement in Ender's Game.
Reading the King James Bible too, at Andrew's behest. It's beautifully written, but very boring. Stop with the begatting and smiting already! Jesus.
Reading the King James Bible too, at Andrew's behest. It's beautifully written, but very boring. Stop with the begatting and smiting already! Jesus.
It seems like I have not blogged in forever. And when I blog, it's about random shit, not about stuff that happens in my life.
Um, school is over. FINALLY. It hasn't really felt like summer cuz I keep going to school for various reasons, like my mom bitching about CAS forms. I'm not that incompetent, it's just that I don't care.
(you know all this. bear with me- this is just for the official record)
King's Dominion. HOOAH. It was as hot as shit, so I was actually feeling icky and soaked even without the water rides but then it rained. Hard. Like, pouring buckets. We had been planning on going on the water rides in the afternoon, but the rain sort of killed those plans. Roooolllleer coaaastersss.
Hurler- first coaster, wooden, fairly tame- Nick should've gone on this one.
Grizzly- po' Nick. I have a feeling he smashed his hip against the side because my fat ass was shoved up right next to him.
Rebel Yell, backwards, but the suspense was sort of ruined in that you knew you were going to go downhill when you ceased feeling like you were going uphill.
Shock Wave- stood in the front with Christine at her insistence (I guess she really trusts Jesus), got my head smacked against the dumb metal headrests, and since there were two cars on the track, had to wait for like 10 minutes after the ride before we could actually get out.. blegh. Puffy actually got stuck on it, and got gift certificates for his trouble. You know, Puffy had never been on a coaster before the trip.
Anaconda-that was sweet, especially the corkscrews. We went on it twice. The going underwater thing wasn't as cool as I thought it would be. I heard Julia or someone flashed the camera...).
Didn't go on the Outer Limits (You didn't miss anything, Jen) since the line was too long, and the same with the Volcano (Puffy's first coaster, which he said was lame- I don't buy it) when it reopened after the storm. Took one look at the Berserker going upside down in dreadfully slow circles and ran away, making some white lie about there not being enough time to go on it. Which happened to be true.
I used to be rather terrified of roller coasters because they were rather ominous- you'd have the creaking of the chains as they dragged the cart up the first hill and you could look down and be like, aw shit, why am I here? And then you'd be motionless for a second before you'd fall... I didn't really like the metal roller coasters as much because they'd seem too fast, because you couldn't hear things rattling or feel the turning motions because everything was so smooth. But still. Apparently the HyperSonic XL is the 9th fastest roller coaster in the US. I still don't think I could go on it. I wanted to go on the Skyflyer, but it was hella expensive.
Some wholesome noncoaster things. The Flying Eagle, which was like a swing ride except in carts, and I said it felt like being on a landspeeder and Nick said I was a dork. Quiet, you. And we went on the carousel (wheee!!!) which didn't go on for as long as I'd like, but it was still cool. The Eiffel Tower, which was nice and windy, and made me heightsick. Swing ride thing, which I remember from being little and crying because I was too short to go on it for two years straight. Took pictures on it, but it was starting to rain (read: storm) and the ride was cut short. And it lit up after I was on it. And the funnel cakes were good, and the food was good (but incredibly overpriced), and it was incredibly cool playing bumper cars, as long as you didn't crash into anyone head on, which was painful. I won a frog! Froggie! From throwing a ball into a basket. yup. So did Dipa. Hers was a different color. Played some skiball and lost pathetically, DDR (mostly watched it). Yup.
Shakespeare Free For All, which basically consisted of people not talking to me. Picnic was sort of excruciating, since it seemed like if people had a choice not to talk to me, they made it. It seems that the more people Nick or Alex invite to a social occasion, the more lonely I am. But the play was good, and it was nice being in an ampitheater with the IWBA. Making snide comments. BARDFU! I was pleased that I understood it. I think we should dub a term for "theater beautiful," which is a lot different from "tv ugly." TV characters who are "ugly" are just pretty people in glasses, but people on stage who're beautiful are often saggy middle aged women with make-up on playing teenagers.
Um, my DDR party, which was mostly other people playing DDR, but it was still fun. I'm afraid the stomping probably has made my house structurally instable. Except for picking up Silvia's socks when it was over. And my sisters and their husbands coming over later for the belated Father's Day party. Lots of food, talking about stuff. Wondering who I'm going to get married off to. Joy.
Um, school is over. FINALLY. It hasn't really felt like summer cuz I keep going to school for various reasons, like my mom bitching about CAS forms. I'm not that incompetent, it's just that I don't care.
(you know all this. bear with me- this is just for the official record)
King's Dominion. HOOAH. It was as hot as shit, so I was actually feeling icky and soaked even without the water rides but then it rained. Hard. Like, pouring buckets. We had been planning on going on the water rides in the afternoon, but the rain sort of killed those plans. Roooolllleer coaaastersss.
Hurler- first coaster, wooden, fairly tame- Nick should've gone on this one.
Grizzly- po' Nick. I have a feeling he smashed his hip against the side because my fat ass was shoved up right next to him.
Rebel Yell, backwards, but the suspense was sort of ruined in that you knew you were going to go downhill when you ceased feeling like you were going uphill.
Shock Wave- stood in the front with Christine at her insistence (I guess she really trusts Jesus), got my head smacked against the dumb metal headrests, and since there were two cars on the track, had to wait for like 10 minutes after the ride before we could actually get out.. blegh. Puffy actually got stuck on it, and got gift certificates for his trouble. You know, Puffy had never been on a coaster before the trip.
Anaconda-that was sweet, especially the corkscrews. We went on it twice. The going underwater thing wasn't as cool as I thought it would be. I heard Julia or someone flashed the camera...).
Didn't go on the Outer Limits (You didn't miss anything, Jen) since the line was too long, and the same with the Volcano (Puffy's first coaster, which he said was lame- I don't buy it) when it reopened after the storm. Took one look at the Berserker going upside down in dreadfully slow circles and ran away, making some white lie about there not being enough time to go on it. Which happened to be true.
I used to be rather terrified of roller coasters because they were rather ominous- you'd have the creaking of the chains as they dragged the cart up the first hill and you could look down and be like, aw shit, why am I here? And then you'd be motionless for a second before you'd fall... I didn't really like the metal roller coasters as much because they'd seem too fast, because you couldn't hear things rattling or feel the turning motions because everything was so smooth. But still. Apparently the HyperSonic XL is the 9th fastest roller coaster in the US. I still don't think I could go on it. I wanted to go on the Skyflyer, but it was hella expensive.
Some wholesome noncoaster things. The Flying Eagle, which was like a swing ride except in carts, and I said it felt like being on a landspeeder and Nick said I was a dork. Quiet, you. And we went on the carousel (wheee!!!) which didn't go on for as long as I'd like, but it was still cool. The Eiffel Tower, which was nice and windy, and made me heightsick. Swing ride thing, which I remember from being little and crying because I was too short to go on it for two years straight. Took pictures on it, but it was starting to rain (read: storm) and the ride was cut short. And it lit up after I was on it. And the funnel cakes were good, and the food was good (but incredibly overpriced), and it was incredibly cool playing bumper cars, as long as you didn't crash into anyone head on, which was painful. I won a frog! Froggie! From throwing a ball into a basket. yup. So did Dipa. Hers was a different color. Played some skiball and lost pathetically, DDR (mostly watched it). Yup.
Shakespeare Free For All, which basically consisted of people not talking to me. Picnic was sort of excruciating, since it seemed like if people had a choice not to talk to me, they made it. It seems that the more people Nick or Alex invite to a social occasion, the more lonely I am. But the play was good, and it was nice being in an ampitheater with the IWBA. Making snide comments. BARDFU! I was pleased that I understood it. I think we should dub a term for "theater beautiful," which is a lot different from "tv ugly." TV characters who are "ugly" are just pretty people in glasses, but people on stage who're beautiful are often saggy middle aged women with make-up on playing teenagers.
Um, my DDR party, which was mostly other people playing DDR, but it was still fun. I'm afraid the stomping probably has made my house structurally instable. Except for picking up Silvia's socks when it was over. And my sisters and their husbands coming over later for the belated Father's Day party. Lots of food, talking about stuff. Wondering who I'm going to get married off to. Joy.
Thursday, June 13, 2002
(Vortex explains how Link sheaths a sword into a scabbard strapped onto his back. Without looking at where he's sheathing his sword, and without impaling himself.)
VortexMR: imagain setting your sword parellel to the scabord but obove it
SFX 87: is it directly above it?
VortexMR: yes
VortexMR: touching the scabord
SFX 87: tip touching the scabbard?
VortexMR: whole sword at the moment
VortexMR: it's just laying there on top of it
VortexMR: with the blade resting against the top of the scabord
VortexMR: imagain that
SFX 87: like this? <=========o <=========|---o
(Blogger's Note: This is me not knowing the meaning of the word parallel at 10 at night)
VortexMR: no
VortexMR: like this
VortexMR:
<==========|---
<=========0
VortexMR: only touching each other
SFX 87: ah..
SFX 87: ok
VortexMR: then he tilts it up so only the sword right next to the hilt is touching the scabard
SFX 87: ok
VortexMR: then he pulls it foreword so the sword's blade runs along the top of the () of the scabord
SFX 87: oh!
SFX 87: clever!
VortexMR: then when the sword is done doing that he lowers the tip and then pushes back
VortexMR: yeah, allows him to line it up with less chance of bodily impailment
SFX 87: still sounds like a pain in the ass
VortexMR: takes him like 2 seconds, he's been doing it his whole life
SFX 87: still sounds like a pain in the ass
SFX 87: It takes a lot of skill just to line up the sword parallel with the scabbard in just one try
VortexMR: better then loseing a liver
SFX 87: true
VortexMR: imagain setting your sword parellel to the scabord but obove it
SFX 87: is it directly above it?
VortexMR: yes
VortexMR: touching the scabord
SFX 87: tip touching the scabbard?
VortexMR: whole sword at the moment
VortexMR: it's just laying there on top of it
VortexMR: with the blade resting against the top of the scabord
VortexMR: imagain that
SFX 87: like this? <=========o <=========|---o
(Blogger's Note: This is me not knowing the meaning of the word parallel at 10 at night)
VortexMR: no
VortexMR: like this
VortexMR:
<==========|---
<=========0
VortexMR: only touching each other
SFX 87: ah..
SFX 87: ok
VortexMR: then he tilts it up so only the sword right next to the hilt is touching the scabard
SFX 87: ok
VortexMR: then he pulls it foreword so the sword's blade runs along the top of the () of the scabord
SFX 87: oh!
SFX 87: clever!
VortexMR: then when the sword is done doing that he lowers the tip and then pushes back
VortexMR: yeah, allows him to line it up with less chance of bodily impailment
SFX 87: still sounds like a pain in the ass
VortexMR: takes him like 2 seconds, he's been doing it his whole life
SFX 87: still sounds like a pain in the ass
SFX 87: It takes a lot of skill just to line up the sword parallel with the scabbard in just one try
VortexMR: better then loseing a liver
SFX 87: true
SFX 87: that sword thing he [Link] does is physically impossible
SFX 87: pulling a sword out of a scabbard he wears on his back
VortexMR: the spinny what?
SFX 87: that too
VortexMR: why is pulling it out of his back imposible?
SFX 87: because I tried it, and it's basically impossible if the sword is longer than your arm. Think about it.
SFX 87: he can do it with the short sword. But not the long sword.
VortexMR: does he pull the goron sword out of his back?
VortexMR: and it would be possible, if the botton of the scabbard was not hooked to anything, so that it could tilt up
SFX 87: Noo.
SFX 87: it's impossible
SFX 87: Even tilting up
SFX 87: it's possible at your waist because you can move your arm in an arc
SFX 87: and the scabbard tilts with you
SFX 87: actually, hmm
VortexMR: wait a minute... your right... how the heck could ANY sword slonger then your arm be goten out of a scabard in one fluid motion?
VortexMR: well if it's at your waist, if it's longer then your arm plus the line from your sholder to the scabord
SFX 87: try it.
VortexMR: ware am i going to get a large sword and scabard?
VortexMR: link pulls everything but his sword and his sheild out of a fanny pack!
SFX 87: so actually the length of the sword would be less than the length from your hand to the scabbard, which is longer than the length of your arm
VortexMR: that's what i said, from your arm to your sholder across your body to the scabard
VortexMR: the link cartoon actualy exsplains that
SFX 87: That's only if you're drawing your sword parallel to your body. I think people would usually wear swords on their back for travel, because if you wore it at your waist it'd be annoying for walking long distances.
VortexMR: or if you want you be able to do stuff with your hands
SFX 87: rightyo
VortexMR: in the link cartoon you see him like shove bow and arrows into his fanny pack
SFX 87: So you'd think if you had it strapped to your back so it didn't get in the way, you wouldn't want it to wobble around, so it wouldn't be able to tilt, so you couldn't draw it from that position.
SFX 87: You'd have to strap it to your waist if you knew you were going into a battle or something. And if you get ambushed on the road, tough luck.
VortexMR: unless it was a short sword
SFX 87: yah
VortexMR: now when link to stuff out of the fanny pac, it was really small and grew back to normal size
VortexMR: he has a magical carry all fanny pack!
SFX 87: like a bag of holding
SFX 87: hmm, actually, I get this. The line from your hand to your scabbard (at waist level) is a lot longer than the line from your hand to your scabbard (when it's on your back)
SFX 87: it just is.
VortexMR: yeah i know
SFX 87: so if it was a long swordy you couldn't draw it
SFX 87: from your back
SFX 87: much less sheath it into your back
SFX 87: like young link does, even with a short sword
SFX 87: cuz even with scabbards at your waist, you sort of have to hold the scabbard still and make sure you don't miss the hole and stuff.
VortexMR: actualy you could sheith it, get the tip in there and then shove it up
SFX 87: you could, but you can't see it cuz it's on your back
SFX 87: pulling a sword out of a scabbard he wears on his back
VortexMR: the spinny what?
SFX 87: that too
VortexMR: why is pulling it out of his back imposible?
SFX 87: because I tried it, and it's basically impossible if the sword is longer than your arm. Think about it.
SFX 87: he can do it with the short sword. But not the long sword.
VortexMR: does he pull the goron sword out of his back?
VortexMR: and it would be possible, if the botton of the scabbard was not hooked to anything, so that it could tilt up
SFX 87: Noo.
SFX 87: it's impossible
SFX 87: Even tilting up
SFX 87: it's possible at your waist because you can move your arm in an arc
SFX 87: and the scabbard tilts with you
SFX 87: actually, hmm
VortexMR: wait a minute... your right... how the heck could ANY sword slonger then your arm be goten out of a scabard in one fluid motion?
VortexMR: well if it's at your waist, if it's longer then your arm plus the line from your sholder to the scabord
SFX 87: try it.
VortexMR: ware am i going to get a large sword and scabard?
VortexMR: link pulls everything but his sword and his sheild out of a fanny pack!
SFX 87: so actually the length of the sword would be less than the length from your hand to the scabbard, which is longer than the length of your arm
VortexMR: that's what i said, from your arm to your sholder across your body to the scabard
VortexMR: the link cartoon actualy exsplains that
SFX 87: That's only if you're drawing your sword parallel to your body. I think people would usually wear swords on their back for travel, because if you wore it at your waist it'd be annoying for walking long distances.
VortexMR: or if you want you be able to do stuff with your hands
SFX 87: rightyo
VortexMR: in the link cartoon you see him like shove bow and arrows into his fanny pack
SFX 87: So you'd think if you had it strapped to your back so it didn't get in the way, you wouldn't want it to wobble around, so it wouldn't be able to tilt, so you couldn't draw it from that position.
SFX 87: You'd have to strap it to your waist if you knew you were going into a battle or something. And if you get ambushed on the road, tough luck.
VortexMR: unless it was a short sword
SFX 87: yah
VortexMR: now when link to stuff out of the fanny pac, it was really small and grew back to normal size
VortexMR: he has a magical carry all fanny pack!
SFX 87: like a bag of holding
SFX 87: hmm, actually, I get this. The line from your hand to your scabbard (at waist level) is a lot longer than the line from your hand to your scabbard (when it's on your back)
SFX 87: it just is.
VortexMR: yeah i know
SFX 87: so if it was a long swordy you couldn't draw it
SFX 87: from your back
SFX 87: much less sheath it into your back
SFX 87: like young link does, even with a short sword
SFX 87: cuz even with scabbards at your waist, you sort of have to hold the scabbard still and make sure you don't miss the hole and stuff.
VortexMR: actualy you could sheith it, get the tip in there and then shove it up
SFX 87: you could, but you can't see it cuz it's on your back
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
Ah, today's my birthday. Yayfor. I don't have a 6th period exam tomorrow so I get to come in late, and even sleeping now, I can get 8 hours of sleep.
Ed finally returned my Ringworld to the library, resulting in my quote of the day.
"We're human! Let's have sex!'" -Ed on the overly amorous space explorers in Ringworld.
nononono, here's another quote of the day from watching PBS kids. "Bye, Lynx Kitten! I'm glad you don't know how to use kitty litter!" Quiet. It's summer, almost, and it's my right to allow my brain to rot by watching educational tv. Educational for four year olds. Man, if I were a host of an educational tv show... well, let's just say that I'd imagine that Bill Nye gets drunk as shit on the weekends and goes "Goddammit no more feckin' kids, heheh!!" as he wanders around in a drug-induced stupor with a chick on each arm and his bowtie undone.
Yay skippy. BTW, The Shining opens itself up to many merchandising opportunities. The Shining Inspirational Soundtrack! (creak! splut! wooodeewoodeewoodeewoooooo AIEEEEE REDRUMREDRUM danny's not here!!!") (Soothing New Age music in your very own home. Eh, at least, I hope that's the sound of water gently flowing...) The Shining Valentine's Day Cards! ("To my better half.. and half.. and half.. and half..") I must wonder though, cleaning the blood off the cameras after filming that elevator scene must be hell.
Why are psychotic (non axe-murderer) guys the most attractive? (Treize.. he's so sane, you KNOW he's mental, AND he's dating a woman with MPD... Sephiroth.. no comment...['Tell me about your mother...' 'I was created in a lab...' 'Zat is a start...' ] ) Actually, I think it's because psychotic guys are usually villains, and villains are attractive.
Ed finally returned my Ringworld to the library, resulting in my quote of the day.
"We're human! Let's have sex!'" -Ed on the overly amorous space explorers in Ringworld.
nononono, here's another quote of the day from watching PBS kids. "Bye, Lynx Kitten! I'm glad you don't know how to use kitty litter!" Quiet. It's summer, almost, and it's my right to allow my brain to rot by watching educational tv. Educational for four year olds. Man, if I were a host of an educational tv show... well, let's just say that I'd imagine that Bill Nye gets drunk as shit on the weekends and goes "Goddammit no more feckin' kids, heheh!!" as he wanders around in a drug-induced stupor with a chick on each arm and his bowtie undone.
Yay skippy. BTW, The Shining opens itself up to many merchandising opportunities. The Shining Inspirational Soundtrack! (creak! splut! wooodeewoodeewoodeewoooooo AIEEEEE REDRUMREDRUM danny's not here!!!") (Soothing New Age music in your very own home. Eh, at least, I hope that's the sound of water gently flowing...) The Shining Valentine's Day Cards! ("To my better half.. and half.. and half.. and half..") I must wonder though, cleaning the blood off the cameras after filming that elevator scene must be hell.
Why are psychotic (non axe-murderer) guys the most attractive? (Treize.. he's so sane, you KNOW he's mental, AND he's dating a woman with MPD... Sephiroth.. no comment...['Tell me about your mother...' 'I was created in a lab...' 'Zat is a start...' ] ) Actually, I think it's because psychotic guys are usually villains, and villains are attractive.
Sunday, June 09, 2002
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
I did my Chinese oral project on one of the famed beauties of China, Xi Shi, whose name is comically infamous for being impossible for Cantonese people like me to pronounce. I did not realize this until I did my presentation.
I must wonder.
Why the hell are Chinese emperors so damn easy to seduce? It seems to be an oft repeated and valid military tactic in ancient China to send a foreign king a beautiful woman as a "gift" to "distract him from affairs of state." I can see this would go over well nowadays. ("Your mission.. seduce George Bush!") You'd think after a few thousand years these kings would learn to be less easily distracted. Or perhaps the enemies of the state psychologically analyzed the target for easily distractable tendencies, like eating people's poo. Oh, wait. That's the guy who's sending Xi Shi. Okay, then the guy who's getting his state destroyed must be a TOTAL maniac.
Supposedly, when Xi Shi walked past, fish would sink to the bottom of the pool because they weren't good enough for her reflection, and flying geese would fall out of the sky stunned by her beauty, and half-bloomed flowers would close up again and the moon would cover itself in clouds because they were ashamed that her beauty was so much greater than theirs. She wouldn't make a very good werewolf. Which makes me think, that those descriptions would be more apt for a real UGLY woman... Though that must be a very good deal for a poor washer woman because you could eat roast goose every day. You know.. she takes a nice walk by the woods.. ladeedadeeda.. and... FREE POULTRY! Excellent! Instead of moving up in the world by the very dubious method of being the king's concubine, she can just open up a fried goose chain store, like KFC except it'd be YFG- YueFriedGoose. Though I think that her being a Beauty and everything wouldn't alow her to eat anything except like, a piece of lettuce every day. I must wonder though, when she's washing clothes in Washer's Stream, does the dirt flee the laundry just at the touch of her hand? That'd be extremely convenient. They never talk about things like that in books- they have a Xi Shi cosmetics line already so I think it'd be very informative to learn, so that we can come up with a Xi Shi laundry detergent.
Maybe that's why she's famous for having stomachaches all the time... too much damn goose. Eat some vegetables, woman!
Man. and you thought a thousand ships was somethin'!
I must wonder.
Why the hell are Chinese emperors so damn easy to seduce? It seems to be an oft repeated and valid military tactic in ancient China to send a foreign king a beautiful woman as a "gift" to "distract him from affairs of state." I can see this would go over well nowadays. ("Your mission.. seduce George Bush!") You'd think after a few thousand years these kings would learn to be less easily distracted. Or perhaps the enemies of the state psychologically analyzed the target for easily distractable tendencies, like eating people's poo. Oh, wait. That's the guy who's sending Xi Shi. Okay, then the guy who's getting his state destroyed must be a TOTAL maniac.
Supposedly, when Xi Shi walked past, fish would sink to the bottom of the pool because they weren't good enough for her reflection, and flying geese would fall out of the sky stunned by her beauty, and half-bloomed flowers would close up again and the moon would cover itself in clouds because they were ashamed that her beauty was so much greater than theirs. She wouldn't make a very good werewolf. Which makes me think, that those descriptions would be more apt for a real UGLY woman... Though that must be a very good deal for a poor washer woman because you could eat roast goose every day. You know.. she takes a nice walk by the woods.. ladeedadeeda.. and... FREE POULTRY! Excellent! Instead of moving up in the world by the very dubious method of being the king's concubine, she can just open up a fried goose chain store, like KFC except it'd be YFG- YueFriedGoose. Though I think that her being a Beauty and everything wouldn't alow her to eat anything except like, a piece of lettuce every day. I must wonder though, when she's washing clothes in Washer's Stream, does the dirt flee the laundry just at the touch of her hand? That'd be extremely convenient. They never talk about things like that in books- they have a Xi Shi cosmetics line already so I think it'd be very informative to learn, so that we can come up with a Xi Shi laundry detergent.
Maybe that's why she's famous for having stomachaches all the time... too much damn goose. Eat some vegetables, woman!
Man. and you thought a thousand ships was somethin'!
You know what disturbs me? Guys who are disturbingly good looking. I don't mean just like, blindingly matching-sweater-from-Milan good looking, but like, obscenely good looking. Real guys, as far as I know, are kind of mishapen and lopsided, like potatoes, and forget to shave over the course of several days and have razor nicks and have really hairy legs when you can see them when they're wearing shorts and drink milk out of the carton and tend to scratch places they shouldn't. So stylish guys disturb me, because they seem less than real, like a conglomeration of everyone's ideals of what a guy should look like into one face and body, leaving features that aren't disagreeable to anyone but aren't distinguished either. Sort of like the woman on the phone who goes "The number you have dialed...".. her voice is nice, pleasant sounding, and nobody grates at the sound of her voice, but it's so... blegh. No matter how much manly stubble and scars-running-down-the-cheekbone-s you give Ben Affleck so he can be a mighty action hero or whatever, he still looks like a cardboard prettyboy who I wouldn't trust in the cockpit of an airplane because he'd be too busy looking at his reflection in the dashboard. It's like a robot or an alien, dude! Not a single hair out of place! Especially bishonnen anime guys, who not only are way too stylish for their own good, but literally are a conglomeration of everyone's ideals of what a guy should look like into one face and body. Like Darien from Sailor Moon. What in fucking hell could get a 17 year old boy (who's disproportionally drawn so that he's really leggy) to wear tuxedos and tophats for fun and throw roses at people???? Some people get all dreamy eyed over him, but Jesus, he creeps me out!
Note: Treize Khushrenada does not count. The 17th century clothes are for.. um.. well c'mon, everyone in Gundam Wing wears weird clothes and he's Grand Duke of something so he's excused. Plus, he has forked eyebrows and he watches opera and he fences and he flies giant robots. And his voice actor sounds like he has laryngitis. And he rants about God and humanity and the universe and has strange ideas on honorable warfare. Which makes him automatically cool.
Note: Treize Khushrenada does not count. The 17th century clothes are for.. um.. well c'mon, everyone in Gundam Wing wears weird clothes and he's Grand Duke of something so he's excused. Plus, he has forked eyebrows and he watches opera and he fences and he flies giant robots. And his voice actor sounds like he has laryngitis. And he rants about God and humanity and the universe and has strange ideas on honorable warfare. Which makes him automatically cool.
Sunday, June 02, 2002
Friday, May 31, 2002
Aboot yesterday. If you ever end up in a room with only Kristen, Julia and Marianna, and Mrs. Goetz you will end up with strange discussion topics.
-Pierced nipples ("What would happen if you were trying to breastfeed? Would milk like, come out of two holes?"), pierced toes, pierced.. that flap of skin between your thumb and forefinger.. tongue piercings. ("His mom thought it was like, self-mutilation, so she was like, 'Oh my god! What's wrong???' ") Tatooed eyeliner. ("What happens if the needle like, misses?")
-What happens if you stick a needle in your eye? ("Does it like, pop?" "..No, I think it's like, jello, inside, so it'd only, like, ooze..")
-Mrs. Goetz's belly piercing. ("I went to get a belly piercing with my daughter when she was a freshman. It was such a bonding experience.".. "It hurt! And I've had five children, so I know some serious pain!")
-Mrs. Goetz's reason for naming all her children with D names.
-Julia's desire to get a nifty lizard tattoo on her hip, her cool new belly button frog (You should get one, Alex), how she convinced a boy for a year that she'd gotten a nipple ring by wearing a bra with a bell on it.
-People at the tattoo parlour's screams of agony. (".. he was popping pills the whole time.. his tattoo was so big.. all down his leg and intricate.. that he couldn't get it all done at the same time because of the pain..")
-Sherry's desire to get a breast reduction. ("..That girl with big boobs..")
-Breast implants ("...they cut off your nipple! Ew... I mean, they put it back on, but still.."), Breast Implants Gone Bad ("...and her boobs were like, mushrooms! It was so gross.")
-Julia getting her belly ring pulled at a rock concert ("... so when I lifted my shirt it was halfway out and there was blood coming out of..")
-The one amazing day where Julia was wearing clothes that actually matched, and everyone commented in amazement. ("... Let's see... Herschel.. Jesse K..." "Right, then I came in and was like, 'Hey, you match!' " "... and Andrew P. You know there's something wrong with how you dress when Andrew... it was so sad..")
-Andrew's infamous sex joke. (".. I don't remember why, but he was talking in TOK and he said, '... And she sunk down on her knees in front of him.. if you know what I mean.' And we were all like, totally shocked!")
-Ms. Kavanaugh sleeping with a senior.
-Ms. Kavanaugh proposititioning every single male teacher on faculty and getting turned down.
-"Is Mr. Willard scared of girls?" debate.
-Mrs. Kellinger. ("It's pretty funny because I hear she's been pretty judgmental of everyone else these days.")
-How, while they were dating, the administration gave Mr. and Mrs. Goetz a good talking to for 'unprofessional conduct.' (".. you know, because we'd arrive at school together and everything." "That's so cute!" "So they gave us this talk and said, 'You know your son goes to this school' and about keeping a 'professional distance' and I said, 'Get out of my business!' ")
-One of Mrs. Goetz' students' tongue rings, which he kept clicking against his teeth. A student who painted his hair red white and blue for the 1996 Olympics with oil-based paints and had to shave it all off afterwards.
In that order.
-Pierced nipples ("What would happen if you were trying to breastfeed? Would milk like, come out of two holes?"), pierced toes, pierced.. that flap of skin between your thumb and forefinger.. tongue piercings. ("His mom thought it was like, self-mutilation, so she was like, 'Oh my god! What's wrong???' ") Tatooed eyeliner. ("What happens if the needle like, misses?")
-What happens if you stick a needle in your eye? ("Does it like, pop?" "..No, I think it's like, jello, inside, so it'd only, like, ooze..")
-Mrs. Goetz's belly piercing. ("I went to get a belly piercing with my daughter when she was a freshman. It was such a bonding experience.".. "It hurt! And I've had five children, so I know some serious pain!")
-Mrs. Goetz's reason for naming all her children with D names.
-Julia's desire to get a nifty lizard tattoo on her hip, her cool new belly button frog (You should get one, Alex), how she convinced a boy for a year that she'd gotten a nipple ring by wearing a bra with a bell on it.
-People at the tattoo parlour's screams of agony. (".. he was popping pills the whole time.. his tattoo was so big.. all down his leg and intricate.. that he couldn't get it all done at the same time because of the pain..")
-Sherry's desire to get a breast reduction. ("..That girl with big boobs..")
-Breast implants ("...they cut off your nipple! Ew... I mean, they put it back on, but still.."), Breast Implants Gone Bad ("...and her boobs were like, mushrooms! It was so gross.")
-Julia getting her belly ring pulled at a rock concert ("... so when I lifted my shirt it was halfway out and there was blood coming out of..")
-The one amazing day where Julia was wearing clothes that actually matched, and everyone commented in amazement. ("... Let's see... Herschel.. Jesse K..." "Right, then I came in and was like, 'Hey, you match!' " "... and Andrew P. You know there's something wrong with how you dress when Andrew... it was so sad..")
-Andrew's infamous sex joke. (".. I don't remember why, but he was talking in TOK and he said, '... And she sunk down on her knees in front of him.. if you know what I mean.' And we were all like, totally shocked!")
-Ms. Kavanaugh sleeping with a senior.
-Ms. Kavanaugh proposititioning every single male teacher on faculty and getting turned down.
-"Is Mr. Willard scared of girls?" debate.
-Mrs. Kellinger. ("It's pretty funny because I hear she's been pretty judgmental of everyone else these days.")
-How, while they were dating, the administration gave Mr. and Mrs. Goetz a good talking to for 'unprofessional conduct.' (".. you know, because we'd arrive at school together and everything." "That's so cute!" "So they gave us this talk and said, 'You know your son goes to this school' and about keeping a 'professional distance' and I said, 'Get out of my business!' ")
-One of Mrs. Goetz' students' tongue rings, which he kept clicking against his teeth. A student who painted his hair red white and blue for the 1996 Olympics with oil-based paints and had to shave it all off afterwards.
In that order.
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