Boring, boring week. I like boring; it means I get to sleep. I can't believe so much of my summer is gone.. it's like.. one week of frantically running back and forth from school after exams, three weeks of dysfunctional family in Hong Kong, and now it's August. Blah. Strong urge to call up Alex and leave a message on his answering machine with my Carmina Burana mp3 playing in the background, while saying in a very deep voice something like, "The time is now... as the forces of evil converge on your answering machine, there is yet one hope for the world.." Or, I considered playing the T-Rex and raptor sound effects and yelling, "Alex, help me!!!! My house has been overrun with Puffy's genetic experiments gone wrong!!!!" I wouldn't have the guts to do it though.

Read "Interesting Times," with a special feature called "Rincewind being chased by enraged sumo wrestlers and a Peking opera-singing, kung fu fighting woman shouting Communist slogans." That's Terry Pratchett for you.

Lord Hong is so badass.

Read "Men at Arms," which is possibly the best Discworld book. Some discrepancies with Fifth Elephant regarding werewolves though. Also, a special feature called Captain Carrot Gets Laid. Finally. Was hoping to read "Thief of Time," seeing as that Hong Kong is the perfect place to read a book mocking kung fu flicks, but the English section of my local library didn't have it. Had lots of Eddings though. And Madame Bovary. Grrrr. Begone, summer reading! So many books, so little Pratchett... man, and Hong Kong calls itself a British Crown Colony?

Oh, wait.

Dyson Spheres!

Something that probably belongs on Puffy's Blog, but actually I just came on the website because I'm reading Larry Niven's "Ringworld" (since I'm suffering from "Discworld" withdrawal) and I wanted to know what Dyson spheres are. So. I can be dorky too. BTW, I have to note that every post I put on Puffy's blog is actually a quote from Puffy. This is more than can be said for the things that Nick and Alex post.

Installment three of Angie's Blog Special Feature: GAY DISCWORLD PORN!!!

This quote is straight from Mr. Pratchett himself, not that fanfic trash I've been quoting earlier.

"Rincewind knew what orgasms were, of course, he'd had a few in his time, sometimes even in company, but nothing in his experience even approximated to that tight, hot moment when every nerve in his body streamed with blue-white fire and raw magic had blazed forth from his fingers."

-The Light Fantastic

Okay, so it's not gay, but it's just funny calling it GAY DISCWORLD PORN!!

Finished Wyrd Sisters. Will have to start something else. It will either be Ender's Shadow or the sequel to Time and Again, since Nick is reading it. I started, but never finished, because it was rather boring. I bought it several years ago because it was on sale at the dollar store. And apparently he doesn't go back in time to kill Bismarck.. he goes back in time to kill Kaiser Wilhelm. Sorry, folks.

"Small Gods" was really good. Go Terry Pratchett. I was sort of afraid that a book without the Ankh-Morpork Watch would be stupid, like "Color of Magic", but it was great. The philosophical in-jokes rocked. Shadow puppets in the Allegory of the Cave!

You know, I wasn't looking for Discworld porn before, but I am now, because everyone's so curious. I need to prove to Alex that there *is* straight Discworld porn. I know for a fact there's lesbian Discworld porn. Child protection laws be damned.

You know though, any time a fanfic writer comes up with an excuse for one character to give the other a bath or "clean your wounds" or whatnot, that's probably a good symbol that this is going to be gay discworld porn.

YE GODS, WHY????? Auggghghhh..arggargharghargh!!!!

People need to have the decency to at least *warn* that it's gay Discworld porn up in the title or something... jeebus, just insert a little thingy that says "slash" or "yaoi" or "shounen-ai" or whatever weird term floats your boat.

my mind's eye!!! ow! ow!!!!
Anyways. It was well written though. You know what's a good line?

"(On Dunmanifestin', Blind Io, hearing his name more often than was usual, popped out to have a brief congradulatory word with his devout worshipper- He reappeared in a moment, red-faced and cursing.)"

"Soul Music" is really good. It makes me wanna Get Up And Dance, as the song goes. WHAUM WHAUM WHAUM!!!!!! Boom-bambam-boom BOOM! Music with rocks in it! Just to prove Malex wrong, if you want to look for a book that can express the emotion of music in text form, there we go. HELLOOOOO, ANKH-MORPORK!!!!! TERRY PRATCHETT, SIGN MY BOOOOBSSS!!!! hmm. I don't think he'd appreciate that. Could I get people to pay me to not ask them to sign my boobs? Sort of like how Ranwa has a shirt that says "give me a dollar and I'll go away"? Maybe I could send PTerry and photo of, say, Jenna Jameson's boobage and have him sign that.

Susan's a better character now. I was sorta scared she'd be like.. a teenage Dagny Taggart. Characters are sorta weak.. , no, not really, I just don't like them as much as the Watch. damn good music though. Expecting my Vetinari-poo to be thrown in mosh pit anytime now. Know it won't happen, because he's The Patrician. But I so want to see him with his hair down. Pratchett makes a Far Side reference. I'm happy.

Potato on a string! "The Truth" is a good book. Sam Vimes should meet up with Han Solo. I want to see them in a Bastarding Contest. Not.. um.. creating bastards.. but seeing who's the greater bastard. I suspect it's Vimes.. he's a drunkard *and* a "bad cop". That should count for something. Besides, Solo married a princess (if you're into the cheap Star Wars paperbacks anyways), and Vimes only gets a Wagnerian duchess.

"Millenium hand and shrimp! Bugrit!"

Sam Vimes isn't that good in "The Truth." It's because William is outbastarding him.

Quote of the Day: "ELVES STOLE MY HUSBAND!!!"

Also, despite what Andrew says, I seriously doubt ANYONE, Discworld or not, would be stupid enough to saddle 600 pounds of coinage to a horse. ("It's only 600 or so pounds," says Andrew). It's all right for story purposes, but practically, if you were going to frame someone for a crime, and the perpetrator were supposedly an old rich lame man (Aw, my po' Vetinari-poo!!!), you don't put 600 pounds of coinage on a getaway-horse. I mean, there are probably larger coin denominations in Ankh-Morpork than the 1 dollar coin, so that 700 thousand dollars doesn't weigh a third of a ton.

Read Maskerade, another Discworld book. It makes me have silly dreams of opera and theater. Playing Medea is fun, because she's homicidal. I'm proud of myself, for my acting, anyways, because that's about as good as I get. Haha. Shutup. DEATH!

Ah, happy music now. Ooh, ouch! Yikes. Music from the Discworld soundtrack clashes with Dragonlance horribly. Ew. Mmm. How about Concerning Hobbits? Oh, and yes, it has occured to me that I really enjoy being emotionally manipulated.

"Which is better, the divine Discworld saga or the pitiful Dragonlance trash?" Poll

Nothing quite like gay Discworld porn.

Much talk in Arc about who should be who in Lord of the Rings. Lotterrrr. God, that sounds dumb. Can't believe it's Thursday already. Also, much multiplying of artifacts. ALEX. Still can't think of an Aragorn, outside of my ex boyfriend. Because he has a shitty sense of humor and can be melodramatic. But none of you know him so you wouldn't appreciate the fact.

The Churchill dog/bear/plushie thing is still drying. I washed it at home after I found it lying in the rain, apparently a good way to dry it is to swing it around on your arm and spin it around really fast, so that water comes flying out just like in real dogs.

Po' Jenny poo. Don't have any classes with her. Janis is gone. Sadness. Wish she had blog.

Vetinari's STILL my bitch. Got Jen to promise to bring Equal Rites and Alex to promise to bring Dragonlance so ho-fully one of them won't forget.

Updates as events warrant.

Hmm. Random thoughts. Nick S would make a good pirate. With a monkey on his shoulder. Color of Magic is pretty bad, I can see why Alex doesn't like it. Characters were basically created for one joke. Twoflower is stupid, he's a tourist. We know. Rincewind is incompetent, has a spell in his head. We know. Luggage is homicidal. We know, enough already. The action's pretty good though, and the Wyrmberg and TWA episode had me laughing like hell. There's more fake science stuff in here than the other books, which makes it read like a badly penned Hitchhiker's- the other ones seem to focus on characterization and philosophy more. Which makes for better reading. Still, pretty damn original. Oh, oh, you know what I want in my dreams? Roman Glass Jewelry

You know what's amusing? www.azn4life.com. I think the psychedilic music may be a bit overdoing it.

Got The Color of Magic, Maskerade, and Soul Music from the library. I like not being able to drive. I can walk, and it's nice out. Feels like summer. Nothing quite as reliable as my own two feet even though I have a bike and a scooter. Three Discworld books at once may seem a bit overdoing it until you take into account that I can finish those in under a week. In Color of Magic my Vetinari-poo is fat. He must've lost weight over the years.

Finally downloaded "This is How You Remind Me" from Nickelback. That song was really annoying me because I kept hearing it and not knowing its name or the lyrics except for the chorus line.. this is how you remind me.. what I really am..

Finished Feet of Clay. Believe I said this already. Disturbing phenomena yesterday. Pratchett describes Carrot being shot through the hand with a crossbow, my left palm starts hurting like hell, only lessens when I dig into it with my fingernails, and after I go to sleep. Felt better this morning, doesn't hurt now. It's a condition with me or something. Describe a piercing injury through the palm in fiction (which happens more often than you think) and my palm hurts. Believe it's called "cognitive--..." uh something or other but it's cuz cognition is closely related to emotion, which can mainfest itself physically or something. Aw whatever. I used to, when I was little, think it was because Jesus didn't want me to forget his crucifiction, which is why I couldn't stand the sight of it and it hurt me. I also have a deathly fear of impalation. Fencing has helped a bit. Only when I stand still when people are doing drills and have to *wait* for people to drive three feet of metal into my chest, that's not very pleasant. I used to think that impaling someone would be rather graceful, sort of like cutting butter, and feel like a quick stab of pain through your body before you die, but now I think it'd be more painful because meat and bone and whatnot has got resistance, and if you're driving this long piece of metal through it, that'd probably require a bit of.. twisting and serating and tearing, even if the actual stabbing would probably be quick. The process is probably quite painful. And you wouldn't die instantly you'd have to wait to bleed to death.

I'm wondering about the nature of Carrot's injuries, depending on what type of crossbow Pratchett was talking about. Eddings seems to describe crossbow bolts as actual metal bolts, which, if something like that hit Carrot in the palm would probably smash all his hand bones and turn it into a bloody pulp. But Pratchett's crossbow bolts seem more like normal arrows. But if that were so then the arrow would probably punch *through* Carrot's hand, ew. And Pratchett doesn't describe him actually pulling the arrow out but next thing you know he's fighting like nothing happened to him, which was very weird in my mind because I imagined Carrot fighting with this bigass arrow still like sticking out of his hand. He doesn't even go for medical attention after the fight. Pratchett must've just forgot about it. Hmm. But the pain in my palm is more like a pricking like someone stuck a compass in it, not like someone smashed my hand with an iron bar, so that must be it. Arrow it is. Damn, hurts again. Knew I shouldn't have started writing about it.