Jung-fu! A fighting movie involving deep probing of the subconscious mind.

Boring, boring week. I like boring; it means I get to sleep. I can't believe so much of my summer is gone.. it's like.. one week of frantically running back and forth from school after exams, three weeks of dysfunctional family in Hong Kong, and now it's August. Blah. Strong urge to call up Alex and leave a message on his answering machine with my Carmina Burana mp3 playing in the background, while saying in a very deep voice something like, "The time is now... as the forces of evil converge on your answering machine, there is yet one hope for the world.." Or, I considered playing the T-Rex and raptor sound effects and yelling, "Alex, help me!!!! My house has been overrun with Puffy's genetic experiments gone wrong!!!!" I wouldn't have the guts to do it though.

Read "Interesting Times," with a special feature called "Rincewind being chased by enraged sumo wrestlers and a Peking opera-singing, kung fu fighting woman shouting Communist slogans." That's Terry Pratchett for you.

Lord Hong is so badass.

Read "Men at Arms," which is possibly the best Discworld book. Some discrepancies with Fifth Elephant regarding werewolves though. Also, a special feature called Captain Carrot Gets Laid. Finally. Was hoping to read "Thief of Time," seeing as that Hong Kong is the perfect place to read a book mocking kung fu flicks, but the English section of my local library didn't have it. Had lots of Eddings though. And Madame Bovary. Grrrr. Begone, summer reading! So many books, so little Pratchett... man, and Hong Kong calls itself a British Crown Colony?

Oh, wait.

I must note about a manga version of "Return of the Condor Heroes" (which is of the popular, trashy, Chinese genre of martial arts books, which are like trashy fantasy books in the US) . There's a lot of stuff like "Dragon Girl taught him the secret way to resist the cold. And from then on, every day he could resist the cold even more until he didn't even notice it.".. ".. And Dragon Girl taught him the secret way to jump and catch. And for the next eight days he practiced the secret way of jumping and catching."... "She moved her hands really fast." Must have lost a lot in translation. And there's this guy who looks like Boromir. But Chinese. @_@.

Quote of the Day: GUARDS! Castrate him!

I had such a hideously good idea that I had to wake up in the middle of the night and Blog it. Is that devotion or what?

Goddammit, I need a Muse who doesn't live on Grenwich Time.

See, people can fight underwater, or do mad kung fu in the air, or do mad kung fu on deserts or on top of trains or cars or swinging from ropes or flaming logs. So, my newest idea is....

MORTAL COMBAT ON ICE, (starring the Flaming Skates of Doooom) Aka the Ice Crusades (but that term was invented by Gary Larson).

Why wield only two blades simultaneously when you can wield four???!!!

(next installation in series: Ben Hur Bobsledding..)

Last day of Kung fu. Woohoo! Good. Now I can actually do some fun excercise, like Dance Revolution.

Morpheus hates me. It won't let me get an account and it keeps cutting me off in the middle of downloads. And it's slow as @#$. Spacie made me download some weird R&B thing that's only 4 minutes long but took 40 minutes to download. Well, at least now I have some semi-hip music on my computer.

Ah, Unofficial Chinese Movie Weekend. If you believe everything in Chinese movies, Japanese people are incredible retards. "Let's shoot at this flaming plane about to crash-land on me with a MACHINE GUN!" Actually, if you believe everything in Chinese movies, Americans are also incredible retards. "LOOK! GUYS! I GOT A TRUCK!" (in the middle of a canyon to a bunch of rebels who're trying to HIDE)

Once Upon A Time in China 3 was good though. Pretty damn good dub. WOO! Wong fei hong! He was the little boy in Iron Monkey (who was actually played by a girl) but grown up. Mad kungfu action. And everybody was... kung fu fiiighting... The Forbidden City in Beijing looks real weird without that large tacky painting of Mao. There were some good movie quotes.

"This is a cultural association, not a kungfu school!" (Master of the Cantonese Cultural Association, about being challenged to a kungfu contest by a rival school of Lion Dancers. They then procede to have some mad kungfu action).

"That's the third time this month. We're used to it." -Random dude about how his town seems to be the center of a bunch of arbitrary kung fu fights, injury, and property destruction.

"What am I, a trained monkey?" -Wong Fei Hong about being filmed for a kung fu movie.

"In Russia, we don't kiss the man's hand." -Russian Villain dude (GOD he was long-winded, like me. "The camera was a gift from me. I reserve the right to take it back. History will give us perspective. I cannot escape my destiny, nor can you yours. For hundreds of years the Han people have resented the rule of the Manchurians, and yet, you accept them like your own today. It gives me cause to think that the Chinese will eventually accept foreign rule. I am sorry but I must kill you, blah blah blah.... steam engine blah blah blah... industrial revolution blah blah blah.." No wonder he never got around to actually killing anyone. He was good-looking though).

"It's unhygenic." -Wong Fei Hong about kissing ladies' hands.

Also. MAD RICKSHAW HIJACKING ACTION!