I may be sick over spring break, but that's not keeping me from writing up fake Wikipedia articles.


"In medieval Europe, charismatic, itinerant preachers travelled between cities, delivering fire and brimstone sermons at religious revivals. Spectators would congregate from miles around to hear these rousing speakers, working themselves into frenzies. Wealthier listeners had the opportunity to find seating in wooden grandstands, but landless peasants had to stand during the entire spectacle, frequently for hours on end, and often fainted with rapture when "moved by the Holy Spirit." Because the audience was so densely packed, there was no way to carry anybody out through the chaotic mob, so bystanders would lift the ecstatic worshipper over their heads and pass him on to others standing nearby, without the person ever touching the ground. In time, this practice became known as 'serf-crowding.'"

Ideas rejected by medieval romance novelists:

Ivan Hou: The story of Sir "I Kirr You, Blian de Bois-Guirbelt! " Wilfred of Ivan Hou, the Chinese Saxon. God, just the prospect of a Chinese man named "Wilfred"...

Shuck n' Jive-n'-Ho: A medieval ethnic epic comedy about a young ghetto knight and the honey who loved him, and the mysterious man only known as the fun-loving, carousing Black Knight... wait. That already does exist. Please shoot me.

Wilfred's Game: the sci-fi adventure of a genius boy who is sent to a space station where he trains for knighthood in a zero-gravity jousting room and inspires loyalty and comaderie among his fellows. Written by the famed Sir Walter Scott Card. Hoo-ah. Oh, and he also battles aliens known as Buggers, which is much more profane because this is an English novel. Featuring a stirring rendition of "Jews in Space" by Isaac of York.

Ivan's Hoe: A Communist tract featuring Robin Hood and romanticizing the simple agrarian ways of medieval England. Oh yeah, and Russians. Lots of Russians. Ivanhoe becomes an unwitting agent of the Man, as, in the name of Richard the Lion-Hearted, he misreads the name "Plantagenet" as "Plant-a-Genet," resulting in the deaths of many a rodent stifled in the mud, hence exposing the academic snobbery and callous treatment of the proletariat, represented as rodents, by the elitist aristocarcy.

Um.

I think that this can be classified as one of those, "She is delirious and knows not of what she speaks" type blog entries.

Jung-fu! A fighting movie involving deep probing of the subconscious mind.

Today's Title:

Attilla the Hungry

Remember folks, Lord of the Rings: Lego Edition has been updated. Legolas!