More Musketeerisms.

Take a sip every time..

Milady de Winter looks real skanky. Actually, scratch that; she always looks skanky. Take a sip every time she has way too much eyeliner on.
The movie takes on Communist/AynRandWouldHateThis connotations. ("Let's redistribute this wealth!", "Please have mercy! I was only stealing to feed my starving children!")
Louis the XIII exudes Teenage Angst/ looks Moony-Eyed at Anne of Austria. Drink the cup if she looks Moony-Eyed back.
D'artagnan does/says something really really stupid. ("I wanna be a musketeer!")
A musketeer conveniently has some crazy weaponry on hand. (Swiss army knife, bola, crossbow, pistol, etc.)
Bad Guys get hurt when things fall on them. (Take two sips if that falling object is a musketeer and the victim is one of the Cardinal's guards on horseback. Down the whole cup if the falling object is a chandelier.)
The moviemakers bludgeon the Dante's Inferno Metaphor to death in Richelieu's Flaming Underground Dungeon (tm). (Why is there a flaming lake??? Why is there a black-robed ferryman in that flaming lake??? What possible practical use could that have?)
Richelieu wears armor.
Someone performs a move that would make a modern fencer explode. (Ie, circular motion of the wrist and enemy is disarmed, hacking indiscriminately at people tree cutting style, doing random somersaults, punching people in the middle of a sword fight etc.)
Someone reloads a pistol in 3 seconds flat.
Property damage ensues.
A Bad Guy is actually a Good Guy in disguise.
Someone sheathes his needle thin blade in a needle thin scabbard without even looking, and manages not to stab himself.
A Bad Guy tries to stab a Good Guy with a dagger, but the Good Guy catches the Bad Guy's wrist. They start what looks a lot like arm wrestling.
Bad Guys cannot swim. Which is historically accurate, but still amusing. Dammit. Richelieu doesn't even bubble!

Yet another unofficial movie weeked. I saw Shrek, which was good, and "Three Musketeers", which was bad. I usually like bad movies, but not this one. It was funny because it was so bad though. Here, for your entertainment, is the "Three Musketeers" drinking game!

One sip every time...

D'artagnan is pronounced with a bad American accent.
Cleavage is shown.
Someone is stabbed tastefully off camera.
Richelieu is obviously horny/ uses bad pickup lines on much younger women. ( in a creepy voice, "It's too bad that I am a man of God, but I am a man nonetheless"...). Yes. It really is as disturbing as it sounds.
Richelieu pauses in his sentences to use understatements. (ie, "The loss of your other eye could be... inconvenient", "I'm sure your birthday celebration will be... memorable")
Rochefort snarls gutterally.
These movie makers could be sued for animal cruelty (flogging the horses like crazy, shooting at them with cannon balls, etc)
Bad Guys who have guns (which appear arbitrarily when the plot calls for them) have hella bad aim. (ie, the musketeers are on horseback galloping through a field IN A STRAIGHT LINE, and the castle nearby with cannons can't even hit them! What the @#$)

I'll add more later when I can think of them.